My Addictions
COFFEE
I like the ice cream variety, but I was never a coffee drinker. Not until my second child came along anyway. Then there was this day, after this horrible night, where I felt like an alien had implanted a balloon filled with idiot gas inside my head. I couldn't think, make even the minor-est of decisions. I went to the "S" place. I'd been their before to buy a hot chocolate and a pastry, but this time I bought a half caf non fat latte. Ten minutes later, I was myself again. It was a miracle. From God - or Juan Valdez...doesn't matter. Later that day, I told myself it was just going to be a one time thing. Seriously, only my mother drinks coffee and angry office type people.
But that one time thing has morphed into an almost everyday Grande Non Fat Latte with 2 pink packets stirred in - addiction. I actually wake up with it's beautiful foamyness on my brain..... coffee, coffee, coffee.
Sad.
(I'm going to save this blog right now. Need to go out. Go somewhere... early in the morning, down to the corner to place that starts with "S")
MY WEIGHT
I had a baby 16 months ago. 4-6 weeks afterward I felt extraordinarily uncomfortable with my weight.
Side note: with my daughter, I felt none of this and ate 3 doughnuts a day for months after I gave birth - hey, I was nursing and needed to give my baby some good fat!
Okay, yeah, I was nursing this kid too, but for some reason I just couldn't stomach more than 1 doughnut per day. At the six week post baby mark, I joined WW. The place is great, and I ate what I wanted, but didn't go nuts. The weight came off and by Christmas time (6 months after Lucca arrived) I was down to a weight I hadn't been to since I got married. My sister even gave me the skinny jeans that she had cast aside for a size smaller!! (hate her)
I was so proud of myself!
And hey - I deserved a reward!
Now, 16 months later, I have re-joined WW to lose the 7 lbs I rewarded myself with...
MOTHERING SKILLS
This is a hard one for me to admit. Yes, even harder than the weight gain, doughnut thing.
I imagine myself as a very non judgemental person. I tell my kids that life would be awfully boring if we were all the same size, same color, same religion etc. But the part I leave out is,
Life Wouldn't be Boring At All If Everyone Mothered Just Like Me.
Okay, before you start sharpening your files and pick axes, I know, logically, that the majority of mothers out there are great. But I live in L.A. and my view is skewed...or is that screwed... With nannies taking care of kids 24/7 - seriously - I have become simultaneously jaded and superior in how I raise my little ones.
My addiction here is my desperate need to find other mothers with alike mothering skills and bond with them over food, drink and a mutual disgust of the less superior mothers in town...
commence pick ax filing now...
CLEAN KITCHEN
The rest of the house can look like 10 rabid dogs went through it looking for a fresh carcass, but the kitchen must be spotless for me to be happy...
'Nough said.
GOSSIP
This is my most favorite addiction.
One I will share proudly with you.
I used to buy rag mags (or what I lovingly refer to as Brain Porn) and a box of Oreos or something from Hostess, and I would stretch out on the couch and eat and read - this was when Daniel was in rehearsal, so I was alone...as if I could do this in front of my husband. The kids were sleeping and it was just me and dogs. Pure Bliss. Well, this got quite expensive, considering the first addiction on this list which I refuse to give up! So I switched to Internet gossip. Perez Hilton, to be specific. He's a total jerk, but honest and funny and free. But the thing is, I got so addicted to this site, that I was checking it many times a day - (so many I won't tell you because you'll think I'm pathetic and deranged)
Now, I have used PH as a reward for 5 pages written, bathroom cleaned, making it a whole day without going over my 24 WW points etc. God, I feel so much healthier!
p.s. and for those of you who couldn't pull up the picture i sent to Miss Blogger Dorothy of my "husband" riding our VERY normal pet sicock..this link works ...
http://www.weirdclipart.com/imagepages/oldmcweirdo/sicock.html
I like the ice cream variety, but I was never a coffee drinker. Not until my second child came along anyway. Then there was this day, after this horrible night, where I felt like an alien had implanted a balloon filled with idiot gas inside my head. I couldn't think, make even the minor-est of decisions. I went to the "S" place. I'd been their before to buy a hot chocolate and a pastry, but this time I bought a half caf non fat latte. Ten minutes later, I was myself again. It was a miracle. From God - or Juan Valdez...doesn't matter. Later that day, I told myself it was just going to be a one time thing. Seriously, only my mother drinks coffee and angry office type people.
But that one time thing has morphed into an almost everyday Grande Non Fat Latte with 2 pink packets stirred in - addiction. I actually wake up with it's beautiful foamyness on my brain..... coffee, coffee, coffee.
Sad.
(I'm going to save this blog right now. Need to go out. Go somewhere... early in the morning, down to the corner to place that starts with "S")
MY WEIGHT
I had a baby 16 months ago. 4-6 weeks afterward I felt extraordinarily uncomfortable with my weight.
Side note: with my daughter, I felt none of this and ate 3 doughnuts a day for months after I gave birth - hey, I was nursing and needed to give my baby some good fat!
Okay, yeah, I was nursing this kid too, but for some reason I just couldn't stomach more than 1 doughnut per day. At the six week post baby mark, I joined WW. The place is great, and I ate what I wanted, but didn't go nuts. The weight came off and by Christmas time (6 months after Lucca arrived) I was down to a weight I hadn't been to since I got married. My sister even gave me the skinny jeans that she had cast aside for a size smaller!! (hate her)
I was so proud of myself!
And hey - I deserved a reward!
Now, 16 months later, I have re-joined WW to lose the 7 lbs I rewarded myself with...
MOTHERING SKILLS
This is a hard one for me to admit. Yes, even harder than the weight gain, doughnut thing.
I imagine myself as a very non judgemental person. I tell my kids that life would be awfully boring if we were all the same size, same color, same religion etc. But the part I leave out is,
Life Wouldn't be Boring At All If Everyone Mothered Just Like Me.
Okay, before you start sharpening your files and pick axes, I know, logically, that the majority of mothers out there are great. But I live in L.A. and my view is skewed...or is that screwed... With nannies taking care of kids 24/7 - seriously - I have become simultaneously jaded and superior in how I raise my little ones.
My addiction here is my desperate need to find other mothers with alike mothering skills and bond with them over food, drink and a mutual disgust of the less superior mothers in town...
commence pick ax filing now...
CLEAN KITCHEN
The rest of the house can look like 10 rabid dogs went through it looking for a fresh carcass, but the kitchen must be spotless for me to be happy...
'Nough said.
GOSSIP
This is my most favorite addiction.
One I will share proudly with you.
I used to buy rag mags (or what I lovingly refer to as Brain Porn) and a box of Oreos or something from Hostess, and I would stretch out on the couch and eat and read - this was when Daniel was in rehearsal, so I was alone...as if I could do this in front of my husband. The kids were sleeping and it was just me and dogs. Pure Bliss. Well, this got quite expensive, considering the first addiction on this list which I refuse to give up! So I switched to Internet gossip. Perez Hilton, to be specific. He's a total jerk, but honest and funny and free. But the thing is, I got so addicted to this site, that I was checking it many times a day - (so many I won't tell you because you'll think I'm pathetic and deranged)
Now, I have used PH as a reward for 5 pages written, bathroom cleaned, making it a whole day without going over my 24 WW points etc. God, I feel so much healthier!
p.s. and for those of you who couldn't pull up the picture i sent to Miss Blogger Dorothy of my "husband" riding our VERY normal pet sicock..this link works ...
http://www.weirdclipart.com/imagepages/oldmcweirdo/sicock.html
5 Comments:
Wait just a minute -- I've seen your kitchen and I think SPOTLESS might be just a tad overstated.
I just said I WANTED it to be spotless...
Hey, skinny girl, what is this WW talk??? Hmm???? Actually, though, you've inspired me to at least consider WW.
I'm a nut about my kitchen too.
It took some looking...but I found it! Very unique and very NOT normal! Ha!
what did I tell you, Dorothy! Jen, you're insane - you look amazing...
hey, i think I'm going to do a cool blog on Mondays with giveaways and stuff... I'll announce tomorrow!
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